Pages

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

a good distraction

saturday morning i sat down at my sewing machine at 10:00 a.m. and barely left it until 11:00 that night. it was a therapy i had been searching for all week. and a chore that i looked forward too. of course the request for halloween costumes doesn't understand grief. or mourning. or heartbreak. all of which have been consuming me.

he was my - i struggle to find the words to put to it all he was - my employer, but also my mentor, confidante, companion, hero, inspiration, friend - a constant presence in my life for the last 8 yrs. he used to joke to people that i was his wife but we didn't share a bed or anything "like that". i met him 10 yrs ago and became his personal assistant soon after that. i have known him longer than i have known my husband. and he is gone. it is all so hard.

thank you for all your kind comments, emails and telephone calls. i will get back to you. right now i am throwing myself into all the minutiae that needs to get sorted out, and so looking forward to trick-or-treating with alice and dorothy.

alice

dorothy

be well...

20 comments:

sally said...

A good distraction indeed. I cannot wait to see the little jumilla bugs in their costumes...which are adorable!!!

amanda said...

Dorothy and Alice are going to be such perfect dates for you tomorrow night. thinking of you...

stephanie said...

tracy! these are perfect can't wait to see the bugs in them.

big hug to you...

lisa s said...

oh tracy... i'm so so sorry to hear the news.....

please do take care [now i know why i didn't hear back from you RE the class]

those costumes are fantastic. have fun w/ the bugs!
xo

melissa f. said...

those are very good. girl, why don't you sew for yourself?!

i wish i lived closer so that i could help with the bugs and give you real hugs.

Courtney said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. How amazing to have known him.

Alicia A. said...

I'm so sorry too, Tracy. I read the last entry about him, but I never made the connection to you in my mind. Now I understand.

I'm sending peaceful thoughts your way.

And the costumes are gorgeous. I can't wait to see them on the little ones.

Nathan said...

oh- the therapy of some good sewing projects...I'm glad you were able to take some time and just produce!

I'm thinking of you...

carol
(blogger hates me, hence the "Nathan"...my husband)

molly said...

thinking of you, tracy....

enjoy your little distractions tomorrow. :) xo.

emily said...

great costumes. excellent distraction. gigantic loss. sending thoughts your way.

erin said...

hugs tracy! the costumes are so perfect - have fun with your bugs!

Susanne Hamilton said...

Tracy - you are amazing - Beautiful costumes! Your grief has translated into the love and commitment you give wholeheartedly to all things important in your life!
I'm so sorry for your loss, my thoughts are with you.
hugs,
Susi

UNIFORM Studio said...

Oh -I didn't make the connection either. I'm so sorry.
What an amazing life he had and how lucky for you to have known him.
Thinking of you.

hannah said...

that looks like some good therapy. i hope you can find some happy memory to fix upon for a bit. have a great date with the bugs!

meg said...

oh - i'm so sorry, tracy.

those costumes are *perfect*
hope you have some fun with them tonight.

xoxo

leslie said...

so sorry tracy. i have learned so much this week about the stress of losing things and have become almost neurotic with worry about everyone's safety as a side effect. feeling my age (turning the big 40 today) and wondering about the future. that kind of stuff... take care and immerse yourself in those girls, i sure have with mine. happy halloween and lets talk when you are up to it.


xoxo

BunkleLife said...

Big hugs. I can't imagine how hard this is.

And the costumes are beautiful.

XOJ

Chara Michele said...

So sorry to hear about your loss Tracy...

angelique said...

I was just catching up on your blog, so I just read this and I'm so sorry. Hope you are doing OK. Glad you have your creativity for a refuge.

Gwendolen said...

He sounds like he was a wonderful man. I'm sorry to know you lost a dear friend who meant so much to you.

Galiano will be good. That salty air will fill you up and help heal. A great way to begin a new year.

lots of love.