09.25

today is my birthday. i arrived 36 years ago today. my mom likes to tell the story of how she thought she had indigestion from a mama burger at a&w - but it was me.

as i grow older. and watch my kids grow older too. their birthdays seem to become more and more significant - while my own seems less and less. i completely understand why my mom likes to tell that story. my birthday is a marker in her life as much as it is in mine. don't get me wrong. i like the cake and the tradition of yummy indian food ordered in. and i love hearing those two little voices sing to me. and opening presents wrapped by little hands. but their days. the days that mark their arrival in my life. those are the days during which i seem to contemplate my own life more. so tonight we will eat yummy indian food. and i will listen to them sing. and i will mark the entrance into my 36th year with those i love the most. and then i will try and treat myself by going to bed early. and that will be that.

today also marks my anniversary of arriving in los angeles. i arrived 10 years ago today. (this seems much more poignant than turning 36! and harder to believe... 26 seems so long ago.) i vividly recall the day 10 years ago i drove down the 405 freeway in my little blue 1989 vw golf. i was coming for an internship at the getty conservation institute. i had applied for it on a whim, never thinking it would actually happen. i was living in toronto and very happy with how things were turning out. i actually had a job in the field i had studied. (ok, so i was supplementing it by working nights managing a cafe - but by day i was working in the field i had studied!) i lived in a great neighborhood. i had adopted this city as my home and planned on staying for a while. then the news arrived. i accepted. and i prepared for my journey to l.a. (how could i refuse?) i had no idea how big the city, or the job, really was. i couldn't find a place to sleep that birthday night, and ended up in a terrible flea bag motel (literally flea). i remember vividly calling my mom in tears questioning what i had done. (i had to get the inebriated motel manager to install a phone in the room after giving him a $25 deposit) the next night was in much better quarters and i soon settled in to my new life. (always reminding myself that it was only for a year and to make the most of this adventure.) 10 years later. here i am. still trying to make the most of this adventure. the internship turned into a temporary one year position. that was renewed for another 2 years. during which i met d on a tram ride up the hill. and the rest - how cliche - is history. my history.

amazing what can happen in 10 years. or maybe not, really. amazing what can happen in 36. (if you had asked me 12 years ago where i would be at 36 - i never. ever. would have said los angeles with an (american) husband and two kids. never. maybe two kids. maybe a husband. but i was thinking sheep farm with a conservation studio about that time...)