week(end)

the weeks keep speeding by. i know that in no time i'll be celebrating 37! (well at least in no time celebrating halloween!!)

attended a very exciting, inspiring pta meeting last night. and feel renewed. but tired too. i have taken on a role that i am not entirely prepared for - but i think ready for.

hoping to glean some assertiveness along-side stephanie... and to have a *s l o w* weekend.

hope yours is as you wish it to be!

if you are as envious as i am that aforementioned steph will be seeing m.ward this weekend - check out the live podcast from kcrw - the next best thing?

unremarkably remarkable

thank you all so very much for all of your bday wishes! it was a lovely day. as i told melissa - unremarkably remarkable. just the way i wanted it. yummy indian food. chocolate cake. an unexpected visit from our beloved neighbors bearing this as a present. (i subscribe to and love the magazine and was keen to check out their publication.) and i got this too. from sam. by kristina. (you ladies rock!) and this yummy-crazy fabric and kit from my dearest friend back home. (oh how i miss you.) but i didn't get to bed as early as i hoped. (too much cake and unexpected visit for the little bug!) i was surprised too that some of you knew my previous place of employment. in fact one of you worked there too! (myredwagon - i did work for atique and maha - their first year of ownership - 1995 - 1996 if I recall correctly. and you??) ah what a lovely small world it is. remarkable.

speaking of melissa, and lovely (which by the way go hand-in-hand) have you seen this? (oh that portland. i will be checking for seat sales!)

a few have also mentioned that bloglines is delaying updating my blog. as i understand it when i updated to beta the feed changed. unfortunately you have to resubscribe to have it in a more timely manner. bummer. sorry. other than that i like beta. so far so good.

i also can't pass this day without thinking of my dad. it is his birthday today. he would have been 65. he always told me that i had been his best birthday gift. and that he forgave me for always ending up with my left-over cake. (not true - the left-over cake part that is.) i miss you dad.

happy wednesday

09.25

today is my birthday. i arrived 36 years ago today. my mom likes to tell the story of how she thought she had indigestion from a mama burger at a&w - but it was me.

as i grow older. and watch my kids grow older too. their birthdays seem to become more and more significant - while my own seems less and less. i completely understand why my mom likes to tell that story. my birthday is a marker in her life as much as it is in mine. don't get me wrong. i like the cake and the tradition of yummy indian food ordered in. and i love hearing those two little voices sing to me. and opening presents wrapped by little hands. but their days. the days that mark their arrival in my life. those are the days during which i seem to contemplate my own life more. so tonight we will eat yummy indian food. and i will listen to them sing. and i will mark the entrance into my 36th year with those i love the most. and then i will try and treat myself by going to bed early. and that will be that.

today also marks my anniversary of arriving in los angeles. i arrived 10 years ago today. (this seems much more poignant than turning 36! and harder to believe... 26 seems so long ago.) i vividly recall the day 10 years ago i drove down the 405 freeway in my little blue 1989 vw golf. i was coming for an internship at the getty conservation institute. i had applied for it on a whim, never thinking it would actually happen. i was living in toronto and very happy with how things were turning out. i actually had a job in the field i had studied. (ok, so i was supplementing it by working nights managing a cafe - but by day i was working in the field i had studied!) i lived in a great neighborhood. i had adopted this city as my home and planned on staying for a while. then the news arrived. i accepted. and i prepared for my journey to l.a. (how could i refuse?) i had no idea how big the city, or the job, really was. i couldn't find a place to sleep that birthday night, and ended up in a terrible flea bag motel (literally flea). i remember vividly calling my mom in tears questioning what i had done. (i had to get the inebriated motel manager to install a phone in the room after giving him a $25 deposit) the next night was in much better quarters and i soon settled in to my new life. (always reminding myself that it was only for a year and to make the most of this adventure.) 10 years later. here i am. still trying to make the most of this adventure. the internship turned into a temporary one year position. that was renewed for another 2 years. during which i met d on a tram ride up the hill. and the rest - how cliche - is history. my history.

amazing what can happen in 10 years. or maybe not, really. amazing what can happen in 36. (if you had asked me 12 years ago where i would be at 36 - i never. ever. would have said los angeles with an (american) husband and two kids. never. maybe two kids. maybe a husband. but i was thinking sheep farm with a conservation studio about that time...)

apples and honey

for rosh hashana




a sweet new year to all
l'shana tova

special stolen hour last night. just me and the little bug while the big bug and her "coach" (dad) were at soccer practice. we have just recently realized that all this change in our household has played on her too. she misses her big sister. a lot. the change in routine has caused a bit of a regression. though i don't think it isn't something a little extra attention - and good old playskool puzzles - can't help.

and to help me - i purchased a new agenda. and i plan on finishing reading this book over the next few days. and delving into this one next. (thanks sam and lisa!)

neighborhood news

just made the switch to a new blogging neighborhood - bloggerbeta. (or is it betablogger??) do things look any different? i can't see any difference! can you still comment? (if you can't let me know by email, please) hmmmm... will see how it goes. and the search for the perfect new autumnal banner continues. (this too, is not it. but it does make me happy seeing that little face! gone already. sorry! it was this one here. )

i take that back. the new spell-check is much improved. (god knows i need a good spell-check) and you can now "label" posts by category. is this useful? and it also seems to have messed up my bloglines feeds.

and we have chosen to stay with our neighborhood school. but are switching teachers. i am not looking forward to another transition but know that the change is for the best. (interestingly, i found out yesterday that e's current teacher has a degree in theatre, then received her teaching credential through the lausd internship program - a response to the teacher shortage in the region. i think that this explains why i like her so much, but feel that she is lacking in certain background skills. an interesting article on this can be found here.)



and very (v e r y !) excited that our neighborhood is to be part of this tour! there will be tours of some of the homes. (we declined the invitation as we are still in such a state of "progress"!) we have been talking about trying to get hpoz status and hope that this will get the ball rolling. if you live in the area hope you can make it to the tour! the buzz is that krisel of palmer & krisel, the architects of our development, will be in attendance. (probably not that exciting for 99.9% of you but quite a thrill for us - mid-century modern architecture nerds that we are...)

and speaking of neighborhood, have you checked out / joined this flickr group. fantastic idea i think. thanks 62cherry!

hope you are having a great week

five and up

five years ago i would never have imagined the passion that this little girl brings out in me. five short years ago i would never have imagined the overwhelming emotions of being a mom. five years ago i was in the hospital, waiting for her (we didn't know she was to be a her) to arrive. i am lucky. she was a very quick and easy delivery. she was three weeks early and weighed only 6 lbs 10 oz. (though she doubled that in less than a month. man, could she nurse.) she was so tiny to me. her head fit in david's palm. so tiny. fragile. but quickly fierce. strong. and she makes me the same. happy birthday miss e. (you can check out a few pics from her tea party, which we had last weekend here.)



it has been a passionate and overwhelmingly emotional week for me. and i have been surprised by the strength of my convictions. it is amazing what those big brown eyes do to me. and i thank you too - again - for standing by me. for listening to my tale. for offering your advice, opinions and support. i know there are so many bigger issues out there - but our kids' education - it is big too. and demanding that it be a quality education - for all children - is something i feel espcially passionate about.

i have been in contact with the charter school we originally investigated while exploring our options early on and it sounds like they have room if we need. but i do love and believe in the concept of our neighborhood school. part of the reason we decided to go this way, though we knew it would be a lot more work - was because we wanted the girls to know that this is the world they are part of. this is the reality and it is not perfect. but we can and will work hard to make it what it needs to be. and i have met with the principal, assistant principal, another mom, and another kindgergarten teacher there. this teacher gives me hope. she is saying the things i think should be said. ("no television in the classroom!" "teaching to the individual instead of to the test" etc.) i was not surprised to hear that she is a mom to two girls. it is a kindergarten / first grade split and this excites me as well. we haven't finalized our decision yet, but i am feeling oh so much better.

a few valuable links and references came up in the comments and in emails i have received this week. i think that they are important enough to restate here.

Commercial Alert

whitedot

American Academy of Pediatrics

Campaign for a Commercial Free Childhood

A Well Trained Mind by Susan Wise Bauer

Consuming Kids by Susan Linn

i hope this dialogue keeps going. that we keep talking about the current state of our kids' education. and that we keep supporting one another in whatever decisions we make.

again. thank you.

who knows where the next five years will take us? i so look forward to the journey.

enjoy your weekend!

comfort food

so the meeting didn't go as well as i had hoped. i failed to see the connection between a unit on water and viewing disney's "little mermaid".

i am investigating our options. will let you know.

thank you so much for all of your kind and thoughtful words. it is always so reassuring to know that i am not "the only one".

my mom, an educator for many many years, has often told me of how stuck the educational system is. of how it takes 50 years for change in thinking to take effect. while in medicine new discoveries and better methods are employed so quickly. it baffles me how our kids can be so overlooked.

she also tells me that she really believes that we will be the generation that demands that changes be made.

thank you my friends. my kids thank you too.

and now i will go eat my apple fritter and drink my coffee from stan's. because even though i know it is wrong. it does make me feel better.


sign in the window of stan's, westwood

dancing with the issues...

so we are doing ok on the kindergarten front. and i wasn't going to mention it. i felt somehow it might reflect a weakness in our educational choice. that i had somehow already failed by putting her in this place. but now i feel i have to say something. my heart is a little broken. and i need to get it off my chest.

the big bug very smugly and with a very big smile on her face announced to me last thursday that her teacher had let them watch t.v.

silence on my part. i knew she was waiting for a reaction. she is aware (she would tell you painfully so) about my feelings about "screen time" (as we call time in front of the television or computer - limited to the weekends and no more than 30 min. / day with the occasional family movie night exception...) "so what did you watch?" "bob the builder." "oh."

i should have prefaced this with some facts. there are currently two kindergarten classes in the school, each with 30 (!) kids. los angeles unified school district (lausd) caps enrollment for K - 3 (i think) at 20. so within the next week or so that should change to three classes of 20. i can sense the teacher is overwhelmed. i like her a lot. her demeanour is lovely. she is loved by the bug already and so on... BUT i do not think watching television in the classroom is o.k.

so the next day she exited the room to tell me that maybe the teacher is "like you" since they didn't watch any t.v. then monday they did again. she told me the teacher said she "didn't know what to do". so turned on "blues clues".

in our "family profile" i wrote about the media choices in our household so i don't think she was surprised when i asked if we could meet to speak of some of my concerns. i even wrote her a note saying that i'd be happy to help in any way i can - come in and read, put together portable activity centers, etc. i realize that i am only getting one side of the situation (and that that side is from a four year old) and look forward to hearing what the teacher has to say. and so we will meet today. i'll let you know what happens. i am hoping for the best, but fearing the worst.

i'll add too that i love the rest of our public school experience. i love that i hear probably a dozen different languages as we walk through the campus each morning. the children in her class are gorgeous. i love walking with my girls to the school. and i love holding the big bug's hand as we walk slowly home and she tells me of her day. and all the fun she has had. (aside from, ahem, the t.v. watching!!)

and the winner was

after carefully reviewing the choices - the big bug went with the fleurville lunch-bag. i like it for its apparent ease of care, its lifetime warranty, and the company's commitment to our environment. she likes it because it is a backpack, and it is pink. nuff said.

looks like we are making it

she sits quietly, shyly, with her classmates along the low wall that runs the perimeter of the kindergarten yard. she faces forward. not looking back at us. we wait on the other side for the teacher to tell them to stand, then head off to their classroom. inevitably, as we wait, little fingers creep through the fence to meet even littler fingers. they press into each other. sending a silent message between sisters. it will all be ok.

we are still transitioning. but definitely feeling that it will all be ok.

i can't help but think of what we were doing five years ago today. how shocked, horrified, saddened, scared we were. i was 8 months pregnant and so terrified by the thought of the world we were now part of. how could i bring a new baby into this? the big bug arrived four days later. three and a bit weeks early. we were so unprepared for her. and so so ready for her. again. it will all be ok. it is.

first day jitters

we are slowly, leisurely, squeezing, the last drops out of this weekend. the last day before the big bug enters the school system. kindergarten.

an "art opening" in celebration of last day at preschool.



a picnic at our community garden plot

a day at the beach and visit with friends



trying to breath slowly. i alternate between panic and glee. i really didn't think i would feel so emotional. but she all of a sudden seems so grown up, yet so young.



i am so thankful that my mom is in town to hold my hand as i hold her's and we venture off tomorrow morning on a new adventure.

i think i'll follow another's lead and take the week off. i feel some reflection, reassessment and reorganization are in order.

for all of you heading back-to-school - and especially those facing first days - enjoy - new beginnings / new adventures...

as the little bug is so fond of saying - "off. we. go!"

Corners of Our Home 21

my mom arrives tomorrow. she will stay in our "spare room" which also doubles as our office and may someday have to revert to being a bedroom (who knows?).

in any case. the desk needs to be organized/cleaned by 6:45 p.m. tomorrow. when the bugs and i will head to the airport to pick-up "grammy".



the desk belonged to d's dad. we repainted it and put a new top on it. d built me the cubbies/inspiration board long ago. or at least it seems long ago. before the bugs. when we lived in a big warehouse in mid-city. and i had a "real" office for "my business". it came from plans here.

i have plans to redo this room sometime soon. would like a longer, maybe L-shaped, built in desk. room for my sewing machine. the room has access to the backyard which we would like to take more advantage of. (right now there is a sofa-bed in front of the sliding door which no longer slides.) paint it white and crowd it with d's unframed landscapes of the southbay (glimpsed here).

but first i just need to clean off that desk - wish me luck!

more corners here

hockney at lacma

first time to post twice in one day.

but just returned from the david hockney show - which closes on monday - and had to tell any who have thought about going but haven't, to go. go. go.



i may be old school. but i think he is genius.

detail from Hockney's Ann and David, March 10, 2005, 2005

thank you

you are all very kind. very kind.

i'm still not convinced i can live with the guitar tee the way it is. but my mom is arriving on friday and i have a lot of preparing to do. so it will sit and wait. if cooler temps arrive before i get around to revisiting it, then the little bug will likely be sporting it this fall. will let you know!

on another note - any Blogger bloggers out there upgraded to beta? curious to hear some reviews... going through that whole typepad vs. blogger thang again...

thanks!

wrong note

do you ever have the exact image of how you want something to happen and then it doesn't even come close?

happened last night.



i put it back into my work pile only to have the big bug bring it to my attention at 630 this a.m. to tell me that she wanted her sister to wear it today. thankfully* it is 100 degrees here and i told her that it was more of a sundress kind of day.

will try try again tonight...

*and i am never ever thankful that it is 100 degrees!

jammin' through...

ok. who took our weekend? even em, this morning, asked me, "how can it be monday already mama?" and we had taken an extra day.

it was full. (that is likely part of it.) but full in the beautiful spend-time-with-really-great-people kind of full. and i did get a couple of things done.

thursday night we met up with d's mom, sister and husband and three of their girls + a fiancee for a little sushi. i have one niece off to portland to explore new pastures with aforementioned fiancee, and one heading to israel for a year, to explore her passion. this was likely the last night we would see these two for a while. (the third is off to high school this year - and i know we will be seeing more of her. my girls will make sure of that!) we will miss them greatly.

friday we all slept in, swam, ate, swam, then headed over to our neighbors' for dinner. they have a little almost 1 year old who is fascinated by ours. and they put on a kick-ass bbq. good company and good food. yum.

saturday. a little thrift with a very good friend and one of her boys. back in the pool. and a quiet evening just us. well maybe not quiet. (we had quite a family jam, complete with shoebox guitar and pasta shakers.) but definitely just us.



sunday. breakfast out with friends and news of a new baby on the way. always good news! another niece. another birthday party. 4 year olds cosmic bowling. the big bug loved it. the little bug not so sure. i will reserve my comment. no naps. much crankiness. but the big bug did take some quiet time and was even inspired to organize her books. the little bug, not so quiet. back in the pool. then early to bed for all. (well, except me - i revelled in the dark, quiet house and got a little crafting and organizing of my own done. i'll save that for later.)

oh and my superbuzzy order arrived! mariko and kelly - i cannot tell you how impressed i am with it all! thank you! great quality. great selection. great service. feeling inspired...

em also reminded me this morning that here are only 8 more sleeps 'til kindergarten. she told me to try and not be too sad. (i smiled and told her i was really excited too. arms stretched out excited. thumb and pointer-finger about 1/2 an inch apart sad.) we really are jammin' through. hope to take them as slowly as we can.

happy monday all.

thursday for friday

oh how i love the longer, cooler nights... c'mon autumn... i am so so ready. tho it looks like we have another month or so of summer left down here. (guess i've gotta get that beach bag finished first!)

i am taking tomorrow off. no work. no computer. just some time with the girls. kindergarten will be starting soon and i am trying to squeeze as much out of these days as i can.

some weekend inspiration

(ok - the first link is to get me more organized, the second to keep me moving with the back-to-school clothes sewing - and that last link is just to remind me to have fun!)



hope you have a lovely one!

grow.strong

oh where to begin?...

what is today, wednesday? then it was monday when i came home to a package. i had been expecting it.

when i saw this appear, i so wanted it for the big bug and decided it would be an end-of-summer / back-to-school / almost 5 gift. it seemed perfect for her. summing up a lot we have been thinking about in our house these past months. "take care of a piece of the earth". i carefully opened the package to find not one, but four enclosed. and one was for me! i stashed the gifts for the girls into the cupboard and carefully opened mine. i was so pleasantly surprised to find this



with a beautiful inscription on the back.

i met shanna through her blog. her mom passed away on the 4 year anniversary of my own dad's death. it rang loudly for me. her words rekindling all i went through those short years ago. all i still go through. although i didn't know her i felt a connection.

the more i came to know her through her blog and email, the more i learned of her generosity of spirit and love for the world. her strength gave her the courage to go after her dreams. i admire that greatly. i admire her greatly.

the painting will hang in my office - when it is renovated. but for now hangs outside our bedroom door. where i will look at it everyday. where it will remind me of all i want to be. of the kindness of someone i am beginning to know. of new friendships. and of the gifts my dad gave me. be kind. smile at people you pass by. always lend a helping hand.

and then there was a message from shanna yesterday. concern that em's smock may not fit. so i pulled it off the high shelf and let the bug try it on. it fit perfectly. it is so beautifully made. and she refused to take it off. wearing it again today. ("mama, i want to wear the 'grow strong' dress again that someone made for me.")



i should add about the other 2 bits in the package, that shanna also included a little something for the little bug. as well as a birthday gift that i will save for em's day...

oh grow strong...

thank you so much shanna...

6 minus 2 plus 1

2 of the tasks are off the list... (and i had very very little to do with it!)


the big bug is finished her swimming lessons for the summer. she was a star. she really made a commitment to it and tried to push herself a little everyday. i am so proud of her. and even better, she is proud of herself.


d's mom turned 73 on saturday. she had 16 of her brood (kids and grandkids) and 3 of her closest friends over to our place for a swim, bbq, and cake (perfect perfect cake - have i mentioned my sister-in-law is a pastry chef? we are soooo lucky!) we did miss the 5 grandkids who couldn't join us but were happy to be with those who could.

so with 4 tasks remaining, i didn't do any of them, but instead was asked very sweetly to finish a skirt i started so long ago. how could i refuse? she has worn it for the last 2 days so i guess it came out ok! it was originally inspired by this, which credited a 3peas tutorial which now i can not place (help?)... it is a great and easy pattern and i would encourage anyone looking to make a peasant skirt to try it (not you of course karen!) i'm thinking corduroy next?

she really didn't want to stand still for her picture



man, will that bedsheet never run out??