Wednesday, January 03, 2007

a new day

new morning

2007 feels so far so good.

though i fear that the rush and anxiety that i felt during the last half of 2006 is just around the corner as the big bug looks toward returning to school next monday and our day-to-day routine shifts from vacation mode back to "normal".

i read this last week and felt my head swirl. lisa spoke of an interview i had missed on charlie rose with cate blanchett. in answer to his question (to paraphrase) "how do you do it all?" she replied, "i don't know anyone who has managed it all.... something always atrophies". isn't that the way it is? something has to give a little. i know this conversation over balance (motherhood / friendships / career / creativity / marriage / spirituality / physical well-being...)has been gone over again and again. but this year. 2007. i fear something in our household will have to give. atrophy. i am battling with how balance can be found. how i can organize my priorities and find the solution that works for everyone under our roof.

i love stephanie's idea of a slow life movement. but how do i attain it right now? what can i say "no" to? i look forward to hearing more from others on a similar journey. i feel i have been able to formulate a slower pace for the girls, but in turn find that mine has accelerated.

where to let it give a little.

i am working on it.

such reflection began and the reshuffling of priorities was strengthened with the news of the kim family tragedy. how could it not? bid it you can and show your support.


hannah said...

yes tracy, i agree. i think for me what is giving is the time i spend worrying. which seems to be quite a bit. i think that by focusing on goodness i can know when to say no and appreciate what i have in the moment. gorgeous picture. still dreaming my friend, more time today on craigs list looking at rentals.

sally said...

Ah yes. Slowing down. Something we all need to do. I must say last month was unusually relaxing and I think figuring out what I could really do during the holidays without making me feel stressed was key. I'm hoping to carry this through the new year. [To which my husband says, "Yeah, right."]

lisa s said...

yours is not the only head spinning.... i'm glad, though, that we are going to try....

and atrophy doesn't have to be all bad.... xo

melissa f. said...

go easy on yourself, dear...

Alicia A. said...

I'm hoping you find some balance and peace of mind this year. I'm positive it will work itself out for you and your family.

Best of luck always.

The Bruin Boy Bunch said...

o.k. Tracy,

here is a few thoughts from a house that has never been organized.

take all the things that must be done, laundry, food, keeping yourself one step ahead of the health department and put them in one pile. then in another pile put the things you should do and put them in another pile and then for the good pile which is all the things you want to do that can be done at home (the trip to hawaii will have to go in another pile) and then in between each must do you pick one from either the should do pile or the want to do pile and then back to the must do..... you may never feel like you have goot alot accomplished but at least your never board or feel like your in a rut... oh year one more thing.... in the want to do pile always throw in "go to the spa"

and one more thought.... it gets so much easier when they can do things for themselves and you will miss all the distractions.

so enjoy the crazy while it's there. from one who knows and misses it some of the time.

janice said...

what I have learned in my small universe is that no matter what I have on my plate it is always a juggle. And a struggle. And I know that in some ways, the list of people that 'need me' is less than yours, but I boy, the slightly panicked overwhelmed feeling hits fairly regularly. All I can do is try to keep my mind focused - and be as actively engaged in the moment as possible. So much is ultimately out of my control and that is something that is hard to accept. And this Christmas has brought some painful losses to a few friends that are dear to me - one friend lost a brother to a heart attack, something that hit home for me as that is one of those raging fears that I have to battle down due to my brothers' beautiful but imperfect hears. I try hard to appreciate the moment. Not worry, not anticipate. Know that things will get done. And know that I don't have to be perfect ... well, at least not at everything.

And I cannot wait to see wee K's glasses - how cute will that be?!


angelique said...

I suspect this is the eternal struggle, at least for women. That no matter how much we "simplify" and rearrange, we will never really resolve it. There will always be those moments of panic when we think we cannot meet all our obligations. One thing that works for me sometimes is to break out of my somewhat rigid priorities. Do something that I would like to do instead of something I think HAS to be done, and realize that maybe the undone thing didn't HAVE to be done so desperately after all. Look, the world didn't end! And you have spiffy new hotpad!

leslie said...

oh i totally relate, i think all moms and especially working moms feel the same way. i think i have mental illness sometimes with all the ideas i have popping in and out, i just can't ever say a day was "good" unless i did a thousand things. sometimes i do feel satisfied with just "playing" all day, luckily today was one of those. but tomorrow is back to work and kids off to school and daycare. life is flying by, isn't it?