The comments left on my last post really got me thinking.
Then, this morning, after hustling the girls out the door so that I wouldn't be too late getting to work the big bug said "These days are so fast mama. I like the slow days best." What could I do but agree?
Now, as a child, I remember that feeling that the days would never end. That summer was too long and that I couldn't wait to get back to school. Nothing seemed to happen quickly enough for me. I didn't like it. But wish so much it was that way now.
Molly wrote: "I just feel rushed in life right now, like there's not enough time in the day, on the calendar, with my children, with my husband...how do we slow down the pace of life and not feel like we are rushing through just trying to survive to the next 'break'? I want my whole life to feel calm and peaceful and unrushed. I always feel like I'm behind or running late...." And Molly has a barn! A barn!! And here I was thinking it was life in the big city that was the root of my troubles...
It must also be related to this world we live in. Everything changing so quickly - technology, fashion, medicine...
And, I suspect it is a condition of motherhood. Not necessarily of that "Supermom" syndrome all the news magazines have headlined. (I hardly consider myself a "supermom". I don't work full-time. The girls aren't loaded up with extra activities - only one dance class between the two of them. I try to keep our weekends open and let our activities be guided by our moods. Our house is hardly spotless! But I do have a hard time saying "no". I am getting better. Practicing with the little bug helps!) I think it is more basic than that. A primal need to care. A need to keep some control over things. To have things done a certain way. To ensure that there is some kind of routine. Am I wrong? I like to be involved. To have a say in what is going on around me. But I think I need to "let go" a bit.
I told D I need to get a tattoo a la Lisa. And learn to live by it. To "Let Go". Really "Let Go". When she wrote this post eight months ago it so resonated with me. And I vowed to follow her lead and to try and "allow life to be as it is". I guess I am looking for balance. And with that the hope that things will slow down. And that more of those best slow days will come my way.
8 comments:
Tracy, I could not agree more. I feel like there are just not enough hours in the day most days. Emma and I are reading little house on the prairie right now, and I find myself thinking about the long stretches of time they had to wait...for mail, crops, weather, panes of glass for their windows. It was part of life to have to wait for months for everything. I feel like so much of life is right now, here, now, must be done. Looking forward to slowing down in the summer.
I think it is impossible in our society to completely slow down. You are right... everything changes so fast. But we can make choices that will allow us to ease up the pace a bit. The thing is (and this is where I always get stuck!) you need time to think about these things and rearrange your life a bit. I never seem to have the time to get to that point.
The best I can do at the moment is schedule the odd "snail day." No plans, do nothing. I don't even cook for myself. I just make sure that there is cream for my coffee in the morning, and the rest of the day is spend lounging. Reading a book, snacking on whatever I want, wearing my jammies... They don't seem to happen often enough.
Correction, I don't seem to let them happen often enough.
We DO do things more slowly here. That's why I stay at home. The kids don't do any extra activities and we usually don't plan a whole lot for weekends. 2 of my oldest girlfriends have VERY different lives. They have jobs and their own business on the side. They also have 2 or 3 kids. They do ALL the extra activities AND have plans every weekend. In their world, they have plenty of time for their kids? They can't wait for summer vacation, they wait for it all year. I don't know. We're just VERY different now...y'know? I wan't to feel like vacation EVERY day, I want to see my kids grow and play, I want *something/everything* for myself too, but keep reminding myself, that THIS is the kids time - I have PLENTY of *ME* time later!?
Get me? Or is this blah blah?
All I can do is nod my head... feeling overly emotional today anyway...
The days go quickly but I also find myself fighting a sense of boredom. Little ones are never *boring* per se, but, well, I'm assuming you understand-- I let go all the time, but I often struggle with living Deliberately in that Letting Go. I waste a lot of time and feel guilty that it was not *mine* to waste. Blogging is helping me see more Intentionality (word? i'm not sure) in my life.
glad to hear i am not alone!
you touched on something i had forgotten kristina - and that i needed to be reminded of. this is the last summer before big bug starts school and i need to make it count!
i do know what you mean melissa - and feel that blogging has helped me focus a bit more on "things to do"
Thanks for sharing your bugs thoughts on fast and slow days. I find myself rushing us out the door to get somewhere "on time" - but no one else is worried about it, and it just stresses us out. It's a metaphor for most of life - we are so rushed to get to the next place that we miss the joy in this one. I plan to take some time to just revel in being here, today, with my kids. Cheers.
Sooo True.
Thanks for sharing!
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